Have you ever been in the company of a 'nice' person who is over the top, unbelievably nice? They never take charge, they are always agreeable, never have an opinion of their own. What if that type of nice person is you?
Early in life, we learn that good things are promised in return for being nice to others. This can skew the purpose of being nice from the pure joy of giving from an abundant heart into a Pleaser Saboteur.
How?
Being nice from a healthy perspective is giving or serving others without expectation. Having genuine curiosity, empathy, and openness with others is a sign of ease and flow. The saboteur uses being nice for an outcome, like wanting to be liked, or loved. People with the Pleaser Saboteur are often disappointed or worse by life and other people.
Niceness can make others think that you really don't have an opinion and that you're ok following their lead, making it easy to be taken advantage of without realizing that you actually play a part in the dynamic. Over time, when the Pleaser Saboteur backfires, the passive-aggressive side of the saboteur can rear its ugly head.
If the first thing that comes to mind when you meet someone is how can they help you, the saboteur is present. Being nice with an expectation attached to it is usually followed by disappointment because the relationship is based on your needs not on the ease and flow of relating.
Have you ever felt uncomfortable in the presence of an overly 'nice' person only to realize that their Pleaser Saboteur has triggered one of your own saboteurs?
The Pleaser Saboteur is fear-based. Fear that you are not enough. Fear that you have to manipulate people to get anywhere in life. Fear that if you did not mask your true wishes, needs, and desires, you would be alone.
If you would like to know if the Pleaser Saboteur is wreaking havoc in your life, click the link below to register for a 45-minute 1:1 Session to go over your Saboteur Assessment results.
REGISTER FOR SABOTEUR ASSESSMENT and 1:1 SESSION
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